Women in Cybersecurity Share Their Top Leadership Lessons

Before Aparna Kadari ever worked in cybersecurity, she was already practicing it at home protecting her household from one of the most unpredictable digital threats: her mother’s iPad habits.

“I have an 80-plus-year-old mother who’s worse than any of your teenagers,” Aparna joked on the podcast. “So I was already doing cybersecurity by having to safeguard all the clicks that she does on her iPad.”

It’s a lighthearted story, but it speaks to the reality that cybersecurity often starts with protecting what matters most. This drive ended up carrying Aparna from pharmaceuticals to her current role as Director of Cybersecurity at Delviom.  

On this special episode of The Segment: A Zero Trust Leadership Podcast, I had the privilege of hosting a powerful conversation with three remarkable women who are helping to transform the cybersecurity industry: along with Aparna, we spoke with Emma Doyley, head of information security at TT Electonics, and Sumi Gorla, director of systems engineering at Illumio.

Here’s what they had to say.

A cybersecurity career isn’t one-size-fits-all

“There are so many different avenues that you can take in cybersecurity,” Emma said. Yet she believes many people, especially young women, don’t see those options.

The industry is still painted with stereotypes. The hacker in the hoodie. The lone genius. The boys’ club.

The truth is that cybersecurity needs collaborators, communicators, problem-solvers, and strategists. It needs people who bring emotional intelligence, operational foresight, and lived experience to the table. And women bring all of that, often in spades.

There are so many different avenues that you can take in cybersecurity.

But recruiting women into cyber isn’t enough. Aparna explained that it’s just as important to retain them. That means changing not just the talent pipeline but also the work environment, mentorship opportunities, and coaching strategies.  

All aboard with allyship

All three women spoke about how critical allies have been in their careers. Mentors who advocated for them, sponsors who gave them opportunities, and friends who offered feedback — even when it was hard to hear.

Interestingly, many of Aparna’s strongest allies and sponsors throughout her career have been men. “I would love to have a female ally,” she shared. “I hope I am one, because I didn’t have one.”  

Her reflection is a poignant reminder of how rare it can be for women in cybersecurity to find mentors who are also women. It’s also a reminder of why it’s so important to become that person for someone else.

“All it takes is one person to believe you can do the next job,” Aparna noted. “But it also only takes one person to give a negative perception that can impact the rest of your career.”

As leaders, it's critical to be mindful of both.

It’s a reminder that allyship can’t be performative or passive. It must be intentional and active, especially from those of us in leadership positions.

All it takes is one person to believe you can do the next job. But it also only takes one person to give a negative perception that can impact the rest of your career.

On feedback, perception, and staying authentic

Throughout the conversation, the topic of feedback came up again and again — not just receiving it but learning how to interpret it.  

As Emma put it, “When someone puts a blocker in my way, it’s a challenge to learn, to grow, to take on board what they’ve said. But not take on board exactly what they’ve said.”

Aparna agreed, noting that early in her career she took in every piece of feedback, until she realized not all of it was constructive. “Some feedback is just benign, said for the sake of saying. You have to learn to parse it out and keep only what’s tangible.”

Some feedback is just benign, said for the sake of saying. You have to learn to parse it out and keep only what’s tangible.

For Sumi, feedback led to one of her favorite stories. After getting coffee with a coworker, she was told, “You’re actually so cool! I thought you were such a…” The implication was clear: perception can skew reality.  

“I always thought I was sweet and approachable,” she said. “But at work, I guess I come off as intense.”

Their reflections underscore a powerful truth. Perception matters, but it doesn’t define you.  

The key is knowing when to filter, when to adapt, and when to stay grounded in your authentic leadership style.

Redefining what cybersecurity leadership looks like

So, how does cybersecurity — and the rest of the tech industry — move forward?

“Build your network. Find your mentors. And be that mentor for someone else,” Emma advised.

Sumi added, “Be a self-advocate. That’s how you build a culture of advocacy.”

And Aparna reminded us to stop apologizing. “Own who you are. Be brave. Do the right thing, even when it’s hard.”

This conversation was about leadership at its core. The kind that listens, learns, and lifts others along the way. We have the opportunity to rewrite the narrative of what the cybersecurity industry looks like and who gets to lead in it.

“As a woman in cyber, I’m not just securing systems. I’m shattering ceilings,” Aparna said.

Let’s follow their lead.

Want to hear my full discussion? Listen to this week’s episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can also read a full transcript of the episode.